


You Don't Get To Die

by CursedEstlin



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/F, hellapissed, shesalwaysalittlepissedtbh, sosayweall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-19 18:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19138054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedEstlin/pseuds/CursedEstlin
Summary: Alicia is angry. So angry it pours off her in waves of despair that knock anyone and everyone back that dare to approach. Except her. She always knows what to do.Post 5x01





	You Don't Get To Die

**Author's Note:**

> *waves shyly* Hi. This is my first fic in a long time. Just something kicking around that motivated me to see if I can still do this. Also, this pairing NEEDS to be canon. No beta here except for me. Please feel free to point out any errors so I can make it pretty!

June saw to her injuries first. They were on the road and June knelt in front of her, trying her best to keep a steady hand while Alicia piloted her SWAT van. Althea sucked in a breath through clenched teeth as Alicia seems to aim for every bump in the road and June's alcohol soaked pad pokes the cut over her eye accidentally.

"Sorry," June breathed, casting a furtive glance at their driver. She looks like she wants to caution their driver, but knows whatever she says will fall upon deaf ears.

"Not your fault," Althea grimaced. She keeps her head down, knowing that Alicia would be watching her in the mirror as much as she watched the road. She didn't want to see the burning anger - bordering on something far more passionate that she didn't dare examine or invite with so many eyes upon them. She glances up briefly, getting a comforting smile and nod from John and Morgan, sitting across from them. It's returned as best she can manage.

She was still a little queasy and a whole lot shaky. Whatever chemical used to render her unconscious after initially tasing her was slowly working it's way out of her system - that was nothing compared to the heat she could feel on the side of her face where Alicia’s glare bore into her via the mirror.

All things considered, her rescue had gone off swimmingly. They were all a little scraped up, but that was nothing new. None of them could remember a time when they weren't aching, bruised, sporting a cracked or broken something, cut or wounded some other way. They'd come for her as soon as they realized she was gone and that someone had taken her. Alicia led the charge of course; slashing, stabbing, clubbing and just being a badass in general to do what it took to get to her. 

Althea didn't know much, truth told. Paramilitary took her and the body from the crash site to a shell of a burned out factory and said absolutely nothing the entire time she was zip-tied to a metal chair. One of them tried to give her water from a bottle but she refused, telling them she didn't drink from bottles she didn't see the seal break on and didn't know the source of. Martha had taught them a valuable lesson when trust was already a commodity no one could afford. 

The rugged vehicle paused at the gate of the truck stop Logan earlier led them to, waiting for Charlie to let them into the parking yard. They lurched unexpectedly as Alicia pressed the gas down with more enthusiasm than necessary before using the same enthusiasm on the brakes. Before the engine had completely died down Alicia was already out the drivers door and making her way to the back doors, wordlessly climbing inside and helping June pull Althea to her feet.

"I'm okay," Althea volunteered as Alicia wrapped a surprisingly gentle arm around her waist to support her, their hips brushing against each other with each step. There was so much gore on Alicia's face, head and clothes Althea knew she hadn't even stopped to clean herself up from their last battle before leading the rescue mission. She lowered her gaze guiltily even as Alicia grunted a non-reply.

"I want to look at your hands and that stab wound as soon as we get inside," June warned Alicia, leaving no room for argument. Alicia and Morgan led the battles, June led the repairs. That's how their group worked these days.

Once inside they could see that Sarah, Charlie and Wendell had been busy in their absence, setting up a couple more tables near Luciana's recovering and resting body. What meager medical supplies they had were also stationed near the tables, awaiting their return. Wordlessly, Althea was deposited on one table with the help of June and Alicia while Alicia hopped up herself on the table next to her, watching as June finished her assessment and treatment. Finally, Althea dared meet her gaze - their eyes locking on to each other even as Alicia's jaw muscle ticked and tightened every few seconds. A sure sign she was in pain not just physically, but emotionally as well.

"Go get cleaned up. You'll feel better," June suggested when she was finished patching her up. She held on to Al's elbow and rested a hand on her back, helping her down from the table before turning her attention to Alicia.

Al pauses at June's instruction to Alicia to raise her shirt and lie back. She needs to see. She needs to see what she did. What she caused.

Alicia's not looking at her anymore. There's a steel cage trapping her feelings and keeping her from showing pain of any kind. The slice below her left breast looks to be confined to just tissue, thank the gods. The blade must have glanced off without going too deep. Al takes a fortifying breath. She's going to be okay. They both are.

Later, when Al's using a t-shirt to speed up drying her hair she goes to find Alicia. She's unsurprised she's no longer in triage. She notices Luciana awake and checks in with her, grabbing her another glass of water before continuing her search. She spots June stretched out on an old couch with John in a quiet corner. June eyes her, no real judgement in her eyes but she knows there's a reprimand at the tip of her tongue. Instead she says "twenty-three stitches between her hands and her side. Try to get her to rest." Al nods once even as June closes her eyes and turns to John, pushing herself closer to the heat of his slumbering body.

Once she's exhausted places to look inside she ventures outside, finding Sarah and Wendell guarding the front and Alicia out back. Not really standing guard as two guards is their standard procedure, but not unaware of what's around her either. Without turning her head Alicia's eyes find her and she can see the breath she takes to steel herself with Al's approach.

It's unintentional the way Al's hands turn so her palms are facing Alicia as she closes the distance between them, subconsciously demonstrating she doesn't want conflict; has no desire to fight with her. 

"You should be resting," Alicia stares straight ahead. 

"Funny. I was about to tell you the same," Al stops when there's less than a foot between them. "Come on," she offers even as her hand reaches out. "Let's get you cleaned up." 

Alicia brushes the reaching hand aside. "I'm fine right here." There's no venom in her voice, though Al isn't sure she doesn't at least partially deserve some.

"Allie," she tries again softly. She never calls her that when anyone else is around. It's just for her. Just for them.

"Don't." The word comes out as a pained plea as Al recoils even as she's surging forward to meet her wrath. 

"I'm sorry," Al starts even as Alicia spins around to face her, taking a challenging foot forward. 

"Don't! I don't want to hear it! You could have waited. You could have asked me to go with you. You could have made any other call besides going on your own," Alicia points out harshly. 

"I know -" Al tries again.

"You don't! You don't know! You don't know what it felt like when Morgan told me you'd gone and that you were in trouble. You don't know because you weren't here where I could see you and protect you!" There's a shove somewhere in those words and Al hurts. Not because she was pushed, but because she'd pushed Alicia too far. "You don't know!"

"I'm right here," Al promises, her jaw tightening and her eyes welling up. "I'm okay." She tries to touch Alicia again only for her hands to be batted away immediately. She tries again and again finally catching Alicia by her wrists and stepping into her space, forcing the slightly shorter woman back against the fence. She dodges a headbutt attempt before not so gently pinning Alicia's head with her own, barely noticing the sting of her own head wound as Alicia fights her off just enough to knock their foreheads together, both their neck muscles straining as they fight to press against each other. 

Their ragged breaths mingling between them is the only thing breaking the silence of the night.

"I can't," Alicia gasps. "I can't lose you, too." 

Al tries to shush her, letting go of her captured wrists in favor of raising them to cup Alicia's face. She feels Alicia's hands fist in her shirt on either side of her waist, drawing and holding her against her body. "I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere." She hears Alicia's breath catch, feels her escaped tears splash on her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she repeats, needing Alicia to hear her and believe her.

"You don't get to die. You don't get to make me love you and then leave me. You don't -" there's a hiccup and another flood of tears that are swallowed up in the arms wrapping around and frantically holding each other close. They stay locked together for a while longer until Alicia is shoving her backwards just far enough away to grab Al's face and pull her back in for a full on assault of her mouth. 

It's the messiest, ungraceful, angriest, most passionate kiss they've ever experienced. Teeth clash together more than once and someone's bottom lip, possibly both of theirs, ends up bleeding a bit after an aggressive nip. That doesn't slow them down. Al moans particularly forcefully when Alicia sucks her tongue into her mouth, stroking the muscle with her own and the feeling rolls right through her body and hits her square between the legs. If the knee jerk she feels from Alicia is any indication, she's feeling it, too.

"Fuck," escapes Alicia's mouth when they separate to take some much needed breaths. Al can feel their chests heaving against each other and a lightening bolt shudders down her spine when Alicia grabs and tugs a fistful of short hair at the nape of her neck, leaving it exposed to the wet kisses left down the side of her throat. 

Their lips meet again, slower this time. The anger is gone and what remains is lovers rejoicing and reveling in the safe harbor of each other. 

"I'm sorry," Al whispers against Alicia's lips, needing to solidify her act of contrition one more time.

"I know," Alicia whispers back, meaning it. There's silence and soft smiles exchanged before Al can't take the seriousness any longer. She smirks and boops Allie's nose. Her smirk expands into a full blown grin at the incredulous look on the other woman's face that someone dared to boop her goddamn nose. 

"I love you, but I'm not kissing you anymore while you smell like ... this," she finishes as she tries and fails to run her fingers through Alicia's gore saturated and tangled hair. There's a perfectly dignified eye roll Althea can't see in the dark but is completely aware of. "You need a shower. I'll even help," Al winks confidently, grabbing her girlfriends hand and leading her towards the door. 

Alicia falls in step just behind her, her head dipping down to hide her smile. "Lucky me." 

"Damn skippy," Al brags, breaking her own rule when she brushes her lips against Alicia's before going inside. She considers booping her again when she receives an unamused head tilt and glare when Alicia guesses what's on her mind. "Sheesh, woman," she grumbles, pulling her towards the showers. She knows without looking that they're sporting matching grins; the tension and hurt feelings between them just as dead as the walkers lumbering outside. They'd fight again. All of them. She was sure of it. 

They'd also stick together because that's what their family did now. She never imagined she'd have this again and when Alicia squeezes her hand gently she swears she will do her best to keep her. To keep them all.

Tada!

**Author's Note:**

> After viewing 5x02 I have a couple dialogue bunnies floating around in my brainpan. If there's any interest in seeing a follow up to this one shot to capture say... Al's take on what kind of shenanigans Alicia got up to before they rescued her, drop me a note in the comment box.


End file.
